So a baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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