John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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