Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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Two men are sitting on a sidewalk, The first man says: I know more about Brad Pitt than you, The other man says: Skip Bayless (born John Bayless II on December 4, 1951) is a sports journalist and television personality who is currently working for ESPN as a commentator. Bayless is featured on ESPN First Take, ESPN2's daily sports talk morning program, where he participates in a daily debate segment with Stephen A. Smith. Bayless is based in Bristol, Connecticut, ESPN's home base, and has been since production of the predecessor of First Take, Cold Pizza, moved from New York City to Bristol. Prior to moving to New York full-time, Bayless was a sportswriter by trade, most recently working for the San Jose Mercury News in California. Contents [hide] * 1 Schooling and family * 2 Writing career * 3 Radio and television o 3.1 ESPN First Take * 4 Cultural references * 5 Bibliography * 6 See also * 7 References * 8 External links Schooling and family Although he was born John Edward Bayless II in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, his father immediately began calling him Skip or Skipper. The name stuck, and Skip Bayless was never called John by his parents. He eventually had his name legally changed to Skip. He is also the older brother of chef, restaurateur and TV personality Rick Bayless. Bayless attended Northwest Classen High School, and was a player on the school's basketball team that made it to the 1970 Oklahoma State Finals. According to Bayless he was a starter for the team, though this has been disputed by others. He averaged only 1.4 points per game, and didn't register any stats in the State Final.[1] Upon graduation he was awarded the prestigious Grantland Rice Scholarship (named for the famed sportswriter of the same name), and went on to attend Vanderbilt University. While at Vanderbilt, he majored in English and History and was a member of Phi Kappa Sigma. He is also a member of the inaugural class of the Vanderbilt Student Media Hall of Fame.[2] Writing career Bayless went directly from Vanderbilt to The Miami Herald, where he wrote sports features for two years before being hired away by the Los Angeles Times. There, he was best known for investigative stories on the Dodgers' clubhouse resentment of "golden boy" Steve Garvey and his celebrity wife Cyndy and on Rams owner Carroll Rosenbloom's behind-the-scenes decisions to start different quarterbacks each week (James Harris, Pat Haden or Ron Jaworski). Bayless also won the Eclipse Award for his coverage of Seattle Slew's Triple Crown. At 25, Bayless was hired by The Dallas Morning News to write its lead sports column, and two years later, the rival Dallas Times Herald hired him away by making him one of the country's highest paid sports columnists—prompting The Wall Street Journal to do a story on the development. Bayless was voted Texas sportswriter of the year three times. In 1989, Bayless wrote God's Coach, about the rise and fall of Tom Landry's Dallas Cowboys. Following the Cowboys' Super Bowl victory in 1993, Bayless wrote The Boys, and following a third Cowboys Super Bowl win in four seasons, Bayless wrote the third and final book of his Cowboys trilogy, Hell-Bent: The Crazy Truth About the "Win or Else" Dallas Cowboys. Hell-Bent caused a stir over Bayless' speculation, without providing any evidence, that Cowboy's quarterback Troy Aikman was gay.[3] After covering the Cowboys through the 1996 season, Bayless chose to leave Dallas after 17 years and become the lead sports columnist for the Chicago Tribune. In his first year in Chicago, Bayless won the Lisagor Award for excellence in sports column writing and was voted Illinois sportswriter of the year. After a highly publicized dispute with the Tribune's executive editor, Ann Marie Lipinski, over limiting all Tribune columns to just 650 or so words, Bayless decided to leave Chicago and was immediately hired by Knight Ridder Corporation to write for its flagship newspaper, the San Jose Mercury News.[4] While in San Jose, Bayless became a fixture on ESPN's Rome is Burning and in a weekly Sunday Morning SportsCenter debate with Stephen A. Smith, "Old School/Nu Skool." ESPN hired Bayless full-time in 2004 to team with Woody Paige, then of the Denver Post, on ESPN2's Cold Pizza and to write columns for ESPN.com. In 2007, Bayless stopped writing columns to concentrate on his television duties, which included a spinoff of his roundtable discussions with Paige called 1st and 10 and the rebranded First Take. The first man says: Hi.

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The New York Giants

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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