How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops