a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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