My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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dyslexic's Untie

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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