What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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