What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gustavo Andrade

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops