this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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