Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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Women's Rights

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops