If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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