What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

Women's Rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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