Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Pain Olympics.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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