What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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