- Anti Joke

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Jack was taking his family’s prized cow to market to sell; times were hard, the coming winter was sure to be harsh and they needed money and supplies desperately. On his way, a strange old man stopped him in his path saying ”Say there, son; that’s quite a fine cow you’ve got there! How would you like to trade?” Jack looked forlorn at his cow and replied, “Sorry, mister, unless you’ve got the 200 gold pieces my papa wants me to get for her at market, I can’t!” The old man cackled and danced in a small circle and said “But you’ve no idea what I have to offer!” He reached into his pocket and revealed several small beans; “I’ll give you the LOT of these for your cow!” Jack smirked and said “Why would I trade a whole cow for handful of dumb ol’ beans?” The man laughed and danced again, “These are no ORDINARY beans!! They are MAGICAL beans!! Why, plant but ONE of these beans, even in the harshest, driest of weather, and it will you feed your family for 20 years with enough left over to sell at market making your family wealthy beyond your wildest imaginings! Why, you could buy a HERD of cattle, each finer than this one you have here!” Jack thought this over for a few seconds, wondering at how proud his father would be were he to bring home such a fine prize! Anxiously, Jack agreed; he handed over the cows leash to the old man and ran home as fast as his legs could carry him, the magic beans clenched tightly in his sweaty fist. He burst in the door shouting “Mama, papa! Come see what I’ve got!” Jack’s mother, father and two little brothers came rushing into the room where Jack proudly displayed the magic beans in his outstretched hand. “We’re going to be rich and never go hungry again!” Jack’s mother looked confusedly at the beans; “You traded our last cow… for a few beans?” “Yup,” replied Jack, brimming with pride; “ the old man said just ONE of these is enough to feed us for 20 years!” Jack’s father grabbed the beans out of Jack’s hand and threw them out the window before proceeding to beat Jack quite severely, breaking his arm, fracturing several of his ribs and covering him with every manner of welt and lesion before Jack’s mother, through panic and tears, was able to stop her husband from killing their eldest son. Jack soon after took ill as several of the lesions became gangrenous. They amputated his arm, but it was too late; the infection had spread and Jack died within the month. By that time, winter had come and it was every bit as harsh as they thought it would be; Jack’s little brothers both died of starvation and Jack’s Mother turned to selling her shriveled, malnourished body to any wayward traveler who would have her for a pittance. Shamed and in mourning, Jack’s father took to drinking heavily at the local tavern. One night, through the drunken haze he overheard the barkeep telling a rapt group of listeners about how he’d heard about an old man who’d duped some dumb kid out of his family’s prized cow for a few beans and that same old man was currently in prison serving 5 years for man-on-cow acts of bestiality. Jack’s father ran out into the night, wailing and crying, deep into the woods to escape the shame of it all. A pack of wolves heard him and attacked and killed him. Also, Jack’s mother got syphilis. Moral of the story: children will ruin your life.

i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

are you saying pam, or pan?

how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

Why did the boy fall off the swing?

It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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