How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Poop

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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