What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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TRICERATOPS!

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops