A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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