What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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