Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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12/23/2012

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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