What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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sadf

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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95556

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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