why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Oh, go away

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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