Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Women's Rights

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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Text Klarens at 317-653-8695. Tell him crazy shit or send crazy pictures.

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops