I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops