I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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