What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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