what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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