Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

irish man drinking john smiths

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

Some parents named their sons: Who, What and Where. Many people were left confused as to the couple's decision, and some remarked that the sons would likely get picked on in their early school years.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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