how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Once upon a time there was a boy who was 16 and a girl who was 14. The guy is in year 10 and the girls is in year 9 . Alot of people think he is a pedofile. Comment your opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops