A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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h

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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You just read this ..

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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