A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops