Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops