Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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