Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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