whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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