Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

Your mom is so old she died

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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