Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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