why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops