A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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