Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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