roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops