If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Potassium? K.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops