Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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rarw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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