- Anti Joke

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

A bar walks into a man

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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