What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

All of these jokes are about white people

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...