Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

Your big dick.

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

bangers and mash?

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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