Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

thumb_up thumb_down +13

kkkk

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops