Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...