An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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