Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Gustavo Andrade

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hey guys im gay

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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