What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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it

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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