What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops