Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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binladin walks into the american seals

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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