How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops