Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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I'm Polish.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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